Published Dec 23 2025
Updated December 23, 2025
Life by Design > Boundaries > #72 Merry Dreadmas
Boundaries, Burnout

#72 Merry Dreadmas

I know It's awful to say this, but for me, the approach to Xmas always fills me with a sense of dread.

I know I should slow down and change gears, but whenever I stop working I get this creeping anxious sense that I should be doing something, though I’m never quite sure what…

I notice overwhelm starting to build around the start of November, and it builds from there into the last few weeks of the year. I feel an intense pressure to finish things:

Everyone wants a last minute favour because they’ve left to the last minute, combined with the constant need to enforce boundaries, and saying no to unreasonable requests from every angle.

I hate to sound negative about it.
But I don’t think I’m alone in this.
It’s hard not to feel that every activity around Christmas has either an obligation, or a price tag, attached to it.

In the UK, we seem to have very few times of the year where we are truly allowed to relax, and not work without feeling guilty.

It seems especially cruel that what was once supposed to be a time to unshoulder our burdens has been hijacked by commercial interests who have turned “tradition” into yet another reason to manipulate us into buying more stuff we don’t need, Instead of taking more time for ourselves.

Ever notice how every Christmas tradition is now wrapped in some kind of commercial activity?

I also notice an erosion of the sanctity of a holiday. Not in a religious sense, but in terms of protected time that we are under no obligation to work or respond to people.

More and more often I have to defend my policy to not work over the festive period,
and I find there’s often expectations of availability by phone or email.
Every year, without fail, I receive at least one enquiry for a quote on Christmas Day. 🤯

It makes me wonder who’s sitting on Christmas Day searching for quotes for a logo for their new business. Mental.
Please, take at least one day off, folks!

It’s tempting to give in and just put more

Just a bit more shopping
A few more decorations
One more newsletter…

My biggest vice is work:
I can’t seem to find a neat point to truncate work and stop for the Xmas break.
Inevitably tasks spill over, a few more clients email with an emergency and I leave the point of “no more work” too late, which means the work of life admin and Xmas prep inevitably gets squeezed into the last few days before the 25th.

There’s this idea that if you can be productive enough, and work harder, you’ll finish everything on your todo list.
But the idea of productivity is a lie. There will always be one more thing to do. You have to just give it up and STOP working and walk out.

Of course, you can’t stop cold turkey.
That’s when the anxiety hits you:

You can’t just stop a rolling train dead in it’s tracks. It has built up unstoppable momentum.
You have to ease yourself into the Christmas mindset, and start slowing down early.
If you work for yourself, I strongly recommend trying to take a few more days off.

Will a few extra days really make any difference in the long run?
Or will it buy you much needed headspace to recover and prepare for the onslaught of January?

I had planned to do my own “hard stop” on the 20th but I must admit the usual last-minute client emergencies kept me working until the 23rd this year so I’m a hypocrite in this regard this year! 🤦‍♂️

If you’re still feeling the urge to work, here’s some things I’ve been trying that might help you stop and relax this year:

🔵 1 Plan in advance some nice things you’d like to do that have no outcome attached

Read that book.
Play a video game.
Try some art.
Do some home baking.

🔵 2 Warn your clients of deadlines for last requests, and reasonable expectations on timelines.

Do this in November

🔵 3 Inform your clients in November when you’ll be stopping work

(and stick to it, close your emails after that point)

🔵 4 Give yourself permission to stop.

Mentally allowing yourself to just give up on remaining tasks can be a powerful shift.

🔵 5 Don’t check your emails

Sounds harsh, but ignorance is bliss. There are very few reasons that truly require clients to contact you over Xmas

Here’s my guide on how to reduce how much time you spend on emails.
There’s also some template scripts for writing tricky emails to clients.
Set up safeguards on your phone.

That’s it from me for this year.

No big annual reflection, no musings.
Just the obligatory “have a very Merry Xmas.”
And I hope you do.
Don’t drag yourself into the Xmas spirit at the last minute like I did.
Put in the time and effort to make it merry.