#46 Favours, freebies and saying no

Oh by the way Nick, may I ask something, so I have this old client who just got back to me. Basically my task for him is linkedin carousesl posts. I already did work for him before he even paid the invoice, now he’s asking for another work already and hasn’t paid the invoice. How do you approach this kind of stuff? haha. I’m just not so used to this kind of situation lol – Vlad

Hey man, set a boundary now, before it becomes an issue.
once you’ve set a policy, it’s simple. it’s clear the client knows what to expect.
Problems occur when you change how t hings work without reason.

So generally, always avoid doing work before the invoice is paid.
If you have been working with clients for a long time, working on trust is sometimes acceptable.

But if it’s a new client, or if it’s one-off work,
you should always receive payment before starting the work.

Here’s a simple line that explains how this works to the client without objection:

“Hey Jane, Look forward to working on this for you,  I’ve attached the invoice for the work, I’ll get a notification once paid, and as soon as it’s cleared I’ll add this to the work queue for you and get started.”

This clearly communicates  you expect the payment before you start the work,
and that the timeline of the project depends on them making the payment,
and that the ball is in their court.

Obviously, this doesn’t help you right now since you’ve already done the work, and sent it to the client,
Therefore you have no leverage.

So for your particular situation…
Here’s a script of what I’d say exactly:

“Hey X, great look forward to working on this for you,
There’s an outstanding invoice we have to clear first before we can start the new job, I’ve attached it for you. Can you please square that up for me by the 21st, then I’ll start on the 2nd job, which I hope to have completed by the 24th. Thanks, appreciate the new work .🙂” (you can change the dates and amounts.)

But I’d actually take an alternative approach…

If you’re going to be doing regular work for him or her I would recommend pitching a retainer from the start.
Retainers bring you stability, predictability, and save you a lot of admin time drafting invoices and quotes for each small job.
Here’s a script I’d use to pitch a retainer.

“Thanks for sending me more work! If your happy with the first carousel,
For carousels I normally work on a retainer basis for X no of carousels per month at £Y,
This works out slightly cheaper for you than doing it ad-hoc,
Since I don’t need to quote you for each new carousel.

Would you like to set that up and I can get started?”

Bonus tip: Always have a way to instantly take payments via a link, such as GoCardless or Stripe etc.

If someone wants to give you money, make it easy for them, before they get distracted.

So there’s your options:

1. Ask him to settle up before you proceed.
2. Shift him onto a retainer model
3. If you can’t get him to go on a retainer, make sure you transition to payment upfront from here on in.
4. And if both of the above fail, make sure you do not proceed with more work until the first invoice is settled.

His responses to the above will indicate if you are likely to have future problems with this client.

Always give the benefit of the doubt to people the first time they miss an invoice.

Business owners are busy people.
often they get distracted or miss the email or just forget.
But reasonable people who intended to pay will respond reasonably.
Unreasonable people, who intend to scalp, or leverage you, will not respond well and will try to hold out to manipulate you.

Better to set boundaries to avoid negative conversations in the first place!

Always do these x3 things when you set boundaries as a freelancer…

1 Make it clear you’ve made an exception

The client often doesn’t even know you’re doing them a favour.

You need to let t hem know this is exceptional behaviour, that you’re going the extra mile.
Otherwise, they will always expect it, or won’t even know they were supposed tobe grateful…
Then you will be the unreasonable one for resenting it.

2 Put a cap on it.

If you do a favour, it will become the expected behaviour.
So don’t do it, unless you are willing to do it more than once.

The exception? if you set a limit.

So ALWAYS set a limit to the scope of the favour with clients.
🔹How many times will you do this thing?
🔹How long will you help?
🔹What IFs or BUTs will you set?

3 Take responsibility.

Saying yes is the easy option because it’s the path of least resistance NOW.
But it will mean harder options later.

So you need to commit.
If you don’t want to do it, do the hard thing and say no.
Otherwise, make sure you’re happy doing it.

Remember…

Pushing boundaries is just human.
Override your instinct to get annoyed or pushback
People will offload problems onto others.
Your job is to try to be helpful and help as much as you are willing,
but also to decide in advance where the line is drawn so you aren’t caught off guard.

If you agree because you feel forced but then resent the client for it, that’s on you!

If they react poorly, then that’s on them…

Getting asked for free favours as a freelancer is practically a right of passage. It must be something in the name….😅

Ok so here’s why those freelancer favours keep stinging you in the bum!

“give a penny, they’ll take a pound”
What a pessimistic saying! 😖
but it’s often true.

Think back…

Have you ever made a special exception to your policy, done someone a favour, or offered to do a free extra….
only for it to come back and bite you in the bum, as they ask for more and more and more! 😡

So you FINALLY stick your foot down and say “No more! I’ve done enough!”

But instead of being grateful for all those 50 free favours you did, all those hours, all that extra work…
They are the ones who are annoyed when you say no!

WHAT?!

But why wouldn’t they be annoyed?
Here’s why…

From their POV:
They have had it for free so far, now you’re going to charge them for this thing?!
When this happens, you probably weren’t clear about your conditions at the start.

I like to try to force myself to assume everthing is my responsibility, even if it isn’t my fault.
Most often when favours get out of hand, I see it as my fault for not setting better boundaries.
I knew that client was an askhole, so it’s my fault for not saying no more.

You don’t want to be the person who doesn’t help anyone out though…
It’s important to be flexible and generous, not just in business, but in life too.

So if you want to keep doing freebies or favours WITHOUT turning into a Scrooge….
There are lots of strategies for dealing with awkward conversations with clients.
But it’s much better to just set better boundaries to avoid those conversations in the first place!

Always do these x3 key things when you’re asked to do favours as a freelancer.

1 Make it clear it’s an extra

This is important.
The client often doesn’t even know you’re doing them a favour,
they are probably unaware it’s costing you time or stress,
or that you’re going out of your way to be helpful.
So make sure you tell them this favour costs you to help them out more.

2 Put a cap on it.

If you do a favour, it will quickly become the expected behaviour.
So don’t do it, unless you are willing to do it more than once.

But I like to be generous with my clients, and most of the time I genuinely want to help.
So there is a way around this if you want to help your client out this one time…

ALWAYS set a limit to the scope of the favour with clients.

🔹How many times will you do this thing?
🔹How long will you help?
🔹What IFs or BUTs will you set?
🔹What happens the next time they ask for the same thing?

Setting a backstop is the best way to save yourself from resentment.
Pre-address any additions, follow-ons or extra asks.
Now you can be generous, knowing that there is a limit.

Make sure you let them know these when you accept,
Otherwise, it’s your fault that they will keep coming back for more,
if they don’t have an endpoint, then why wouldn’t they?

3 Take responsibility.

Saying yes is the easiest option because it’s the path of least resistance.
But you need to commit.
If you don’t want to do it, do the hard thing and say no.
Otherwise, make sure you’re happy doing it, and do it happily.

So take responsibility.
Try to override your instinct to get annoyed or pushback.

Bonus: Stall

If you struggle to override your feelings of annoyance, then avoid responding straight away as you may react poorly.

Most “unreasonable asks” will catch you offguard, they are often thrown in at the end of a conversation, or after a much smaller ask.

Instead practice this line over and over again:

“hmm, let me think about it and I’ll get back to you.”

It’s very hard to push back on this line without appearing unreasonable:

“What do you have to think about?” | “I need an answer now ”  |   “is it a yes or a no?”

These pushback responses come across as rude, and now the asker is the one who looks unreasonable.

Stalling allows your thinking brain to override your emotional brain.

You can just tell them you’ll get back to them about it later, or by email.

In my experience, if you stall for a few days, most people sort their own shit out anyway.

Give it a day, they usually magically find that email they were searching for, they manage to figure out how to work the printer, they couldn’t wait so they caught the bus instead etc. 😅

Bonus 2: don’t take it personally.

Remember asking for favours is just human behaviour.
People will try to offload their problems onto others. This too is natural human behaviour.

Your job is to try to be helpful and help as much as you are willing,
but also to make sure you communicate clearly,
and decide in advance where the line is drawn so you aren’t caught off guard.
If you agree because you feel forced but then resent the client for it, that’s on you!
If they react poorly, then that’s on them.