They say “comparison is the thief of joy”.
It’s been a tough few years, your working hard, but your business is finally going well, making steady income and working with clients you enjoy.
But all it takes is one short scroll on Instagram, you see all these younger designers who launched their business last month, and now they are earning more than you, AND they are guest speaking at Adobe Max, and they still had enough free time to pose on that jetski in Dubai.
“Uuurgh I’m a complete failure”
That’s how comparison steals joy.
One moment ago you were content,
The next you want things.
But this is because we approach comparison with a negative mindset:
We compare where we want to be with where we are.
And the distance between those two states leads to unfulfilled desire, which is uncomfortable.
But what if we flipped that mechanism?
What if comparison could be a source of joy?
What if we recall our previous desires, which we have now fulfilled,
What if we compare what we wanted with what we now have?
10 years ago I’d never have believed that ifnlive in such a nice place.
5 years ago I never dreamed I would work for myself
3 years ago I never would have dreamed I’d build my own office
2 years ago I never would have guessed if have a team of 3
1 year ago I’d never have believed I’d have a beautiful son
That is the source of happiness.
And it’s why happiness also requires a struggle.
Happiness is so elusive because it’s a temporary state.
Once we have achieved something, we move onto the next goal.
So happiness can only ever be realised from moment to moment, not as a permanent state, but in retrospect, as something we feel NOW.
The state of happiness is just a story we tell ourselves, about a condition we were in that we wished to change (discomfort),
The challenges we overcame, (growth)
and the resolution that we have now realised (happiness).
Without the tension between desire state and current state there would be no happiness or unhappiness.
So whilst comparison is often the thief of joy,
Comparison can also be the source of joy,
If you approach it in the right direction;
With appreciation of what you have,
Instead of desire for what you don’t.
